Agencies
Services
Financial Infidelity
Financial Infidelity: Acknowledging, Preventing, and Moving Past the Money
Infidelity is a loaded word. By definition, infidelity means not being faithful to the person you are in a committed relationship with. Infidelity can show up in many different corners of your relationship, including your relationship with money. Financial infidelity, like any form of unfaithfulness, can be devastating.
Financial infidelity is when one person in a committed relationship keeps financial secrets from the other. This could be in the form of keeping a secret credit card or bank account or hiding income or debt from your partner. Basically, if you are intentionally being secretive or dishonest with your partner about financial matters over an extended period of time (e.g., not near Christmas or your anniversary when you have a secret gift planned), you may be committing financial infidelity.
In a recent poll about financial infidelity, 42% of respondents who are in serious relationships admitted they were hiding a checking, savings or credit card account from their partners. Some reasons people keep financial secrets are that:
- Secrecy may seem easier than addressing the conflict it would create in their relationship.
- Some may think they can solve the problem themselves and what their partner doesn’t know won’t hurt them.
- Addiction may be driving the secrecy and should be addressed on a deeper level.
- The infidelity is a symptom of a bigger relationship issue—lack of communication, lack of respect, or other issues with fidelity.
If you suspect your partner might be hiding something from you financially, address it carefully. Don’t be accusatory, and while you might be angry, it is important to try to have a rational conversation instead of an emotionally driven one.
If you notice new things around the house but don’t remember seeing a transaction come through your joint account, or if you see multiple transactions that you are unfamiliar with, these can be signs that you may need to have a conversation with your partner.
There are several steps you can take to prevent financial infidelity in your relationship. Regularly discussing budgets and finances together to increase transparency, working together to identify financial goals—both short term and long term—and identifying steps to take toward them will all help establish a sense of transparency and partnership in your joint financial situation.
While financial infidelity can be hard on a relationship due to a breach of trust, it is possible to move past it. Commit to moving forward together financially and holding each other accountable. Ensure that there is transparency regarding all financial accounts and regularly look at your finances together.
For more information on how to identify financial infidelity, access the full article here.
Brought to you by:
